Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Day one of Fruit and Water Detox

Ok, so I've decided that after all of this drinking that I did over the weekend, I need to detox my body. This is day one of what could be a 3-30 day fruit fast....I may actually see how far I can go with it. I've started taking a multi-vitamin so I don't make myself sick but what are really the cons of this? I should lose a good bit of weight and fruit is God's candy and I love fruit. So here I am I'm not going to post my weight but  I will post if I lose any and pretty much how I feel at the beginning and end of each day! Wish me luck...the salt and processed food "withdrawls" are probably going to be hard on me but this is something I am bound and determined to do.

Saturday, July 9, 2011

Feelings

Just went through a TON of bullshit with my ex boyfriend Zach last night and I let him have it....This song pretty much describes how I feel about the entire situation.


Godsmack I Fucking Hate You Lyrics

For everything you do 
I'd like to swallow you 
And everyday I'm gonna blame you 
And even if you justify 
Every fucking bullshit lie 
It only makes me want to break you 
You pull me down 
And you crucify my name 
You make me insane 
It's broken now 
Don't ever look my way 
Don't even think I'm playin' 
'Cause I fucking hate you 
You're such a liar 
And I love to hate you 
You're all the same to me 
When you repeatedly 
Take advantage of me 
The only thought I get of you sickens me 
And everybody knows your fake 
You're everything I fucking hate 
And I'm everything that you could never be 
You pull me down 
And you crucify my name 
You make me insane 
It's broken now 
Don't ever look my way 
Don't even think I'm playin' 
'Cause I fucking hate you 
You're such a liar 
And I love to hate you 
You're all the same to me 
And I fucking hate you 
You're such a liar 
And I love to hate you 
You're all the same to me 
(Fuck you) 
(Fuck you) 
(Fuck you) 
You pull me down 
And you crucify my name 
You make me insane 
It's broken now 
Don't ever look my way 
Don't even think I'm playin' 
'Cause I fucking hate you 
You're such a liar 
And I love to hate you 
You're all the same to me 
And I fucking hate you 
You're such a liar 
And I love to hate you 
You're all the same to me 
Fuck you (fuck you) 
Fuck you (fuck you) 
Fuck you (fuck you) 
Fuck you (fuck you)

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

Casey Anthony

Where do I begin...Oh yes.....The American Judicial system is a complete and utter disaster. How in the HELL can they let that lying murderer walk free!! In my eyes, the prosecution had proven that beyond the shadow of a doubt that Casey Anthony took the like of her innocent two year old baby. As a mother I cannot IMAGINE even intentionally hurting my child, let alone taking her LIFE! I am so completely outraged! I feel like i could riot on the streets and GOD forgive me but taking a trip to Florida myself!! Does that make me a bad person? If it does so be it!! Shows me that in America, murder is becoming legal...again HOW DID SHE GET OFF?!?! I am so sickened over this!! God is the one and only judge in my book and she will get hers eventually...in his own time and plan but still just cannot believe this!

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Not quite sure where I go wrong

Ahhhhh life, that little thing that happens when you are looking right? Well, I've not been looking for quite sometime now. I have managed to achieve failed relationship after failed relationship and no not ALL were my fault but I just seem to attract worlds worst boyfriends ever! I've been cheated on time and time again, been treated like crap over and over again, and have had my heart shattered more often than I like to let on. What is the issue here? I am a GREAT and I repeat a GREAT girlfriend!! I'm caring, considerate of others, sweet, loyal, honest, and I love having sex...sorry if that is tmi but hey it's my blog right? lol I just don't understand! When i don't have a bad boyfriend I don't even get asked out hardly ever, it truly makes me feel like I am defective on some level or something. Too fat? Possibly. Not Pretty? Also possible but i don't like to look at myself negatively but it happens ALOT. I'm always doing something to try to make myself more attractive to the opposite sex but NOTHING seems to work!! I just don't understand...I'm not a doormat but I'm not a bitch either, I'm not jealous and so on and on and on....Help!

Life is Divine Chaos
* <3 *

I will be the me i will always be

There are so many people in my life who aren't happy with the person that i am. They think that if I switch my music taste or how I look (which is quite often) I am trying to change who I am when in reality I am exercising the person that I AM! I love change I personally think that it is good for the soul...I'm not trying to be someone that I'm not. I am me....odd, eccentric, ever changing me. I am not the tidiest person in the world, I cry easily, I wear my heart on my sleeve, i fall in love quickly and out of it painstakingly slow, I get hurt and embarrassed easily, I'm temperamental and I will fight for who I love and what i believe in. It's who i am. I mean I am a what you see is what you get kind of person and I can be brutally honest but I never mean to hurt anyone. Once you've done me wrong i will write you off completely but I still care as much as i don't want to. Once my anger fades i hurt too. I relate everything to music...as a matter of fact, music is my one true passion, I sing I play guitar and i don't think I could live without it. My brain is wired for it to be honest lol. I am insanely loyal to my family and my friends and when I have a boyfriend (which isn't often) I hate when people don't like me but i guess you can't win em all. Oh well, that is all for now :)

Life is Divine Chaos
* <3 *

Monday, June 27, 2011

Family make you crazy??

Not sure about all of you...or no one at the moment because I have no followers lol but do certain members of your family drive you absolutely insane?? I love my family deeply with my whole heart but sometimes....there's just some that I cannot take! Bitching, whining and moaning is not something I want to listen to when I am trying to relax. Or repetitive conversation and being talked down to. I get to my wits end and hold my tongue but it gets to a boiling point to where I can feel my temper starting to let go. It makes me feel like a bad person but on the other hand I think, if I say something will I get peace and quiet? Then again I don't wanna hurt anyone's feelings. I really try to treat people the way that I want to be treated but sometimes I, just like everyone else loses sight of that. It's not just one person that does this in particular, it's just sometimes I don't want to be bothered. Oh well...can I get some feedback on this...if anyone follows me that is.

Life is Divine Chaos
* <3 *

Hello Moto

Well hello there. My friend inspired me to start a blog of my own after reading through hers. There will be some venting I'm sure and just some day to day chit chat....that is if I can remember to keep up with this, which I hope to do. Sometimes I just need an outlet to write or complain or just well talk or write about things that I personally find interesting. I'm asking that there be no attacking of any kind but  opposed viewpoints are welcome in a respectable manner. Thanks for reading!!

Life is Divine Chaos
* <3 *